First off, I have not read any of the Harry Potter books, nor will I ever. I’m not a patient reader (hence, 100 word movie reviews). With that said, I have the advantage of book-to-movie-adaptation ignorance. I have enough wand-wielding Potter geek friends to screech at me the shit they left out. With the seventh and final entry split in two part, more detail of the book can be covered. That should ease the shrill of the Potter banshees. Patient, intense, beautiful, Part 1 is easily the most powerful of the series and my personal favourite. Bring on Part 2.
RECOMMENDED
Sometimes it’s graet to be wrong. I wasn’t sold on the trailers for Thor, but I’m totally sold on this movie. The godly future avenger makes an immensely satisfying big-screen debut. Director Kenneth Branagh does a thoroughly competent job merging the avengers world with the realm of the God; a tough task indeed. The thunderous moments of action are nicely interwoven with the thought-through moments of character development, all with the pacing of the first Iron Man. To my utter surprise, Thor kicks a huge amount of Assgard (hey, it was either that joke or a terrible MC Hammer reference).
RECOMMENDED
Fast Five’s kinda like Dwayne Johnson: it’s big, it’s loud, it might just punch you in the face, but damn it’s entertaining. The film breaks physics, logic and probably a new record for most cars totaled in two hours. However, it never fails to break your attention. Yeah, it’s a big sack o’ stupid, but it’s stupid in all the right places, from the obvious plot holes to Tyrese’s big black one-liners. Fast Five is cinematic junk food. After a week, you’ll likely forget what most of it was even about, but you’ll definitely remember Rock-zilla squaring off against Mecha-Diesel.
WATCHABLE
Imported straight from Uruguay, The Silent House is a not-so-traditional haunted house film that‘ll mess with your senses. Told in one seemingly continuous shot, a young girl is tormented by an unknown presence residing in an abandoned house. With an excellent use of darkness, eerie cinematography and “what the fuck was that?” sound effects, The Silent House maintains a cardiac-arresting amount of intensity. Fragments of story are presented sparingly, leaving the audience to piece it all together. Once you get to the ultimate reveal however, you might feel slightly cheated. Nevertheless, the film still delivers a deliriously unsettling 80 minutes.
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Funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny.FUNNY
I don’t know anyone who’s been Craven for a new Scream, but like it or not, the self-aware slasher series is back. Promoting that the “rules” of horror have changed for a new generation, Scream 4 takes pride in labelling the new set of horror clichés, only to commit most of them moments later. The film opens up with an brilliant stab at shark-jumping sequels (“Saw” that coming) and ends with a twist so delightfully bonkers that you have no choice but to go “Well… ok.” The over-referencing can get annoying and Dewey’s still an idiot, but its surprisingly fun.
WATCHABLE
Sucker Punch is an incoherent nerdgasm masquerading as a feministic Inception. Using the device of “escaping reality,” the film cuts away to numerous fantasy sequences that don’t make a butt-licking load of sense. The moment you see robot samurai with a rocket launcher is the moment you’re forced to step back and say “Wait… what!?” I’m all for rocket-wielding robot samurai, but is it too hard to ask for a little continuity? It’s an amazing failure. Yet, like the obnoxious Lord-of-the-Rings geek at school, I cannot bring myself to hate it. But I’m still not going to be its friend.
YEAH... NAH...
Nick Frost and Simon Pegg ascend further into the mountains of geekdom with their existential stoner road trip chase film Paul. With that said, the film’s enjoyment is pretty much relative to the size of your inner geek. So, if you have the ability to recite the Klingon alphabet, you’ll get the most enjoyment out of its referential sci-fi humour. But even if you’re a hermit who’s been living under a rock on the surface of Jupiter for the last 40 years, the writing’s witty enough to guarantee yourself many genuine laughs without needing the back knowledge of recent pop-culture.
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