Transformers 3 is a payoff. At the last quarter of the film, you will witness an amazing, mind-blowing, visual spectacle of Cleopatric proportions. Proceeding that, you’ll be subjected to moronically cheap “humour”, deviant shots of the next dolled-up generic chick Hollywood’s trying to pimp out and irritating songs crow-barred in to sell a soundtrack, all wrapped up in a predictably incompetent plot needlessly drawn-out to give the illusion of epic-ness. Many will make that trade with ease, and I won’t blame you. For me however, I was left watching a two-hour train wreck followed by an explosive half-hour train wreck.
YEAH... NAH...
It’s one thing to make a mediocre film, but when you’re a film studio as highly distinguished as Pixar, it becomes another thing entirely. Cars 2 focuses around a family-friendly spy plot that’s actually pretty clever. Unfortunately, that idea is repeatedly run over by unbearably annoying scenes of Mater being a dumbass. The generic script flattens the potential even further, which treads below the level of dad-humour. The 3D is gobsmackingly impressive and the film maintains that Pixar quality level of animation, so it’ll service children as a colourful distraction. Then again, so will a shiny piece of tin foil.WATCHABLE (in 3D)
YEAH... NAH... (in 2D)
Exploring the lives of four London-based girls across three days between two cities, these characters are given one chance for… something. So maybe its subtitles aren’t particularly clear, but this UK film provides some flashy thrills, despite its many glaring faults. Its quad-thread storyline unravel in a very satisfying way, but it takes some massive liberties to do so, crow-barring a 20 minute subplot that has very little to do with the overall story. The acting is all over the place and the dialog can be downright embarrassing. If you can tolerate these flaws however, you’re guaranteed to be entertained.
WATCHABLE
The plot’s in the title. A socially awkward, slightly suicidal man (Joaquin Phoenix) is caught in a love triangle between a sweet girl his parents adore (Vinessa Shaw) and his neighbour who has her own set of boohoo cry-me-a-Nile problems (Gwyneth Paltrow). With a storyline as generic as this, the strength of the film needs to lie in its characters. That’s not the case with Two Lovers. Despite some truly impressive all-round performances, it’s hard to care about anything the lead does, let alone try to empathise with him. You’ll see Paltrow’s boob, but the film’s hardly worth your time.
YEAH... NAH...
Richard Linklater hits us with a massive pile of 1937 in his kinda sorta not really biopic of brilliant visionary and legendary douchebag Orson Welles, as seen through the unfairly gorgeous eyes of a youthfully ambitious actor. Efron is vibrant as the teen lead, hitting the right balance of charm and ignorance while Christian McKay churns out a masterful representation of Welles that even Orson himself wouldn’t be able to criticise. The relationship between the two is a tad light, but still effective. Linklater’s recreation of pre-WW2 America is faithful but never overbearing, just like Orson Welles. Well, not really.
RECOMMENDED
Thor and X-men: First Class achieved back-to-back superhero awesomeness (to much surprise), and DC’s own outlandish superhero origin story attempts to add another “-to-back” to this year’s quality comic book film season. Ryan Reynolds dons the ring adequately as cocky flyboy Hal Jordan and every minute on planet Oa is gloriously realised. Too bad we spend the majority of time on generic Earth watching generic relationships accompanied by generic Baywatch music. Still, there’s enough pleasing action scenes to tide most over, including a kick-ass finale. While I may not’ve been amazed by this first entry, I’m dying for a sequel.
WATCHABLE
Abram’s love letter to the Amblin classics of old is more than just a wink, a kiss and a hug. It makes sweet, sweet love to the era and even calls it the next day. Super 8 is a wildly entertaining cul-de-sac sci-fi adventure that rekindles the glory of the Spielbergian films JJ draws inspiration from, whilst retaining its own identity. It’s a little anticlimactic near the end and some may feel the creature’s a bit too “familiar,” but the wonderful solidarity between the youthful leads and the brilliant mix of horror and wonder makes Super 8 an easy recommendation.
RECOMMENDED
1931 wasn’t a good year. The depression hit America hard. Water for Elephants captures this grim reality but manages to maintain the romanticism of the train-travelling big-top circus era. Pattison handles the leading role with a great deal of competency, though never seeming to transcend that level. This stands out more in comparison to the excellent performances given by Christoph Waltz and Reese Witherspoon. There are a number of vital elements that I wish were explored further and the ending’s a bit too clean, but nevertheless, Water for Elephants is an engaging tale of beauty in a very ugly time.
RECOMMENDED
Hey, remember how Wolverine Origins sucked? Well X-men: First Class is one big fat apology we can all accept. The film’s strength lies in its two leads, Magneto and Xavier, as they build their bond only to have it inevitably crumble through ideological differences. McAvoy and Fassbender play their roles to perfection, though I wish they developed their relationship with slightly more depth. The movie’s peppered with moments of awesome, despite some noticeably weak side characters. And if you’re still not convinced that First Class is the real deal, I have five words for you: evil mutant Nazi Kevin Bacon.
RECOMMENDED
