Stallone assembles an action-star roster of has-beens and still-ares to pay a 100 minute homage to 1980s action films. This is indeed Sex and the City for dudes, with the film being equal to the sum of its faulty parts. The plot has more holes in it than a machine-gunned Columbian. The script would be laughable if it wasn’t so painfully unfunny. But perhaps worst of all, it’s dull. If your movie makes me yawn during an explosion, you messed up. Some hilariously fun over-the-top set pieces prevent this from being a Schwarzenegger-sized shit-fest, but it comes pretty damn close.
YEAH... NAH...
A mild-mannered failed-writer-come-English-teacher is devastated after his son accidentally strangles himself to death. Given that his son is the absolute personification of the term douche bag, he forges a suicide note in a desperate attempt to send his son off with dignity. However, the note bursts into popularity, with the demand for more of his dead son’s material increasing rapidly. Robin Williams places himself perfectly in the role, striking the right balance between witty humour and hostile vulnerability. The premise is uniquely dark while remaining strangely light-hearted, never outstaying its welcome. Not an instant classic, but a typical indie charmer.
RECOMMENDED
A man wakes up to find himself buried alive. Equipped with only a cell phone, a lighter and a few other trinkets, he has to find a way out while discovering why he‘s been put in his horrifying position. The movie never strays away from the coffin. It’s a risky move on the filmmakers’ part, but one that ultimately pays off well. Aggravation, frustration and claustrophobia are expressed flawlessly through inventive camera work, brilliant lighting and Reynolds’ fantastic performance. However, the film’s let down by some silly “action” scenes and an ending that ditches you like a one night stand.
WATCHABLE
A determined inventor persistently tries to “boilover” his town-joke status, but his constant string of inventive failures only adds “oil to the fryer”. Eventually, he “cooks” up the idea of turning water into food. At first, the town “relish” in his success. However, things turn “sour” when the food mutates into freakish proportions. Wildly inventive, “tastefully” stylised, “super-sized” laughs that never grow “stale” and just ridiculously entertaining, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs is an absolute joy to “devour”. I also give a “toast” to the Saturday Night Live regulars. Good to see them do a comedy for a change.
RECOMMENDED
Karl travels the States firing people, year out, year in. He calls his airlines home. Naturally, he has adopted a loose-life philosophy, never focused on settling. Then, he meets Alex, who shares in that ideal. Then, he is forced to mentor Natalie, a young up-and-comer, who wishes to Skype the professional firing process. Then, he is needed to attend his sister’s wedding, whom he hardly ever sees. Between his family who focus on subdued living, the fragile business-oriented Natalie and the exuberant, eye-bashingly gorgeous Vera Farmiga, the movie effortlessly challenges his seemingly flawless open life morals. Superbly written. Absolutely brilliant.
BETTER THAN INCEPTION!!!
Hipster Norah meets Hipster Nick as they travel with his Hipster buddies to find some Hipster band playing at some Hipster club. That’s the initial vibe I got with Infinite Playlist. It’s a romantic comedy at its core and it does both pretty well. The comedy is more hit than miss, though there are definitely some misses. The romance between the two leads is bonded by their love for music, even if the movie doesn’t emphasise as much as you’d think. The movie has its flaws, but it left me smiling. Oh, and Kat Dennings is fine as hell.
WATCHABLE
Train starts. Crash zoom. Shaky cam. Train stops. The end. WATCHABLE
After the Waterfall is a movie about a good-natured bloke (John, played by Anthony Starr) whose life slowly breaks apart after the disappearance of his daughter. Whether the daughter is alive or not is never the main aspect of the film. Instead, the focus is locked on the pain generated from faint hope and the dread of not knowing. Unfortunately, the message drags along at a very dull pace. The actors try their best to breath life to this seemingly bland movie but it never seems to stray past the mantra of a 45-minute TV episode stretched to 90 minutes.
YEAH...NAH
Scott Pilgrim, 22, loves Ramona Flowers. However, if he is to date her, he must defeat her seven evil exes. Edgar Wright delivers a two hour sonic boom of pop-culture 8-bit hipsterism, smashing every genre in its wake. The dialog is crammed full of with wit and charm. The quick-fire editing is relentlessly sublime. Every performance is delivered with immense satisfaction. The effects constantly surprise with innovation and visual trickery. The sound design, flawless. The music, exceptional. No other movie of 2010 had me frothing coins from the mouth in anticipation of watching it a second time ‘round. K. O.
BETTER THAN INCEPTION!!!
This Italian thriller centres around a young, attractive woman who is seduced by a security guard during a speed dating session. A couple of days later, the two find themselves in the middle of a robbery. The events that take place afterwords is when the film starts to mess with you. Things start to seem out of place and before you can clip all the pieces back, the movie shakes and twists you back to square one. It‘s a solid mind blender, though some may cringe at the ultimate twist. Whatever your view, just be sure to take a Panadol.
WATCHABLE
It’s a tradition that in every year, there is that one film that makes me think “Wow, that scriptwriter must be intelligent, and uses heroin or something,” and this time, that film’s Triangle. A group travel on a boat on route to… somewhere. Then, after a “Da fuck?” moment, they board another ship. With that said, I will keep my story-spoiling urges down. Triangle will head you down a road that gets more messed up every minute. My mouth uttered nothing but these two words: holy shit. It wrestles thumbs in your mind with messed up (occasionally stupid) set pieces.
RECOMMENDED
Based on the rise of Joan Jett’s band of bitches with balls, The Runaways is ferociously fast-paced and fairly enjoyable, much like the band itself. Kristen Stewart pulls out a great stop-calling-me-Bella role as Joan while Dakota Fanning remains her usual I’m-still-pretty-damn-good performance as Cherie. The highlight act for many, me included, goes to Michael Shannon. Playing the band’s hilariously contrived producer, Shannon should probably leave a ransom note after every scene he steals . The film suffers from a weak ending and a sizeable drop in pace nearing the last half hour, but it’s still a decent testosterone-fuelled riot.
WATCHABLE
Usually I'd start off with a turbo-fire summary of the story. However, with Tron: Legacy, the story is all over the place. It’s hard to pin down the entire plot within one or two sentences because the movie spins numerous ideas around your head without clearly defining any of them. The pacing slows to a halt in the middle and doesn’t pick up much near the end. However, the incredible visuals and the PHENOMENAL score draw you into the gorgeous world of The Grid. And if you’re movie’s boring, at least you’re bored in The Grid. With Olivia Wilde. Groovy.
WATCHABLE
Realising that there’s a German fairy tale they haven’t taken advantage of, Disney retell the story of Rapunzel. This probably would have been a movie not to give two shits about if it weren’t for John Lasseter’s sweet, sweet seal of approval. For a non-Pixar 3D Disney film, Tangled is both hilarious and heartfelt; a valiant effort at reclaiming Walt’s masterful storytelling ability. Unfortunately, it is bogged down by some inappropriately “modernised” dialog and intruding musical numbers. It’s disappointing, for it gets so close to claiming that same legendary Disney status. Still, it’s a fantastic movie with a dumb name.RECOMMENDED
Two romantically involved scientists explore the possibilities of human gene splicing. What they end up creating is a creature both fascinating and frightening. This seemingly modern-day take on Species experiments with a surprisingly fresh set of ideas. The most unique aspect of the film is the tension that slowly grows between the two scientists as they slowly lose their ability to contain the intensely unpredictable creature. Unfortunately, the originality of the premise is dragged down by some ridiculous character arcs and predictably bland horror staples. It’s thrilling nonetheless, preferring to go under your skin as opposed to ripping it open.
WATCHABLE
A German scientist kidnaps two dumb white bitches and some Asian dude in order to create a human centipede, a crawling tri-person sewn together from mouth to anus. That’s the pitch. Sure, it’s a disturbingly fresh concept for a horror movie given today’s increasingly desensitised audiences. However, that’s all The Human Centipede amounts to: a concept; one which these “filmmakers” stretch out for 90 pitiful minutes. Perhaps you can forgive horrendous acting or terrible dialog (“Shit! I have to shit!”), but I will never forgive it for being one thing: boring. The Human Centipede can eat shit and die. Literally.A TRIPLE WAD OF SHIT!
Based off of real events, a good-natured explorer, Aron, ventures into the rocky wilderness. On his way through a narrow canyon, he stumbles on a loose boulder. The boulder falls, crushing his arm between itself and the canyon. Stuck in an enclosed and isolated canyon, the film focuses on the 127 horrific hours Aron faces, desperately doing anything he can to survive. With James Franco in the leading role, Danny Boyle successfully crosses off “bottle film” from his list of stuff he hasn’t done yet (followed closely by “musical“ and “Saw sequel”). It’s engagingly agonising, but always elegantly humane. Though you never get a strong sense of claustrophobia, Boyle never lets the pace drop thanks to his masterful directorial flair, while Franco delivers a deliriously sublime performance.
RECOMMENDED
Mickey “Irish” Wahlberg is boxing under the heavy shadow of his crack-smoking brother, renown for supposedly knocking down Suger Ray Leonard. Based on the true story, the film is less about actual boxing and more about the emotional tug-of-war between a deluded family and one man’s self-respect. David O. Russell directs the movie with confidence, particularly with the way he handles the televised boxing scenes. The true strength in the film are the knockout performances (a little boxing humour there). Melissa Leo and Christian Bale validate their Golden Globe wins while Wahlberg does what Walberg does best: being Mark Wahlberg.
BETTER THAN INCEPTION!!!
A striving ballet dancer, Nina, is chosen to perform the lead of Swan Lake. She flawlessly plays the purity and the innocence of the white swan, but cannot capture the impulsive promiscuity of the black swan. The movie is heavily metaphoric, and brilliantly displays how Nina’s obsession for perfection bashes her to the brink of madness. It’s intense. Director Darren Aronofsky and Natalie Portman flow beautifully together, showing equal measures of grace and chaos. Mila Kunis also licks her way to a great, contrasting performance. Unfortunately, the movie didn’t connect with me in the way it so desperately wanted to.
RECOMMENDED
Catfish poses as a documentary of a blooming Facebook relationship between two people who have never met. After months of wireless communication, Nev sets out to finally meet the girl of his internet dreams. Then, the movie takes a bit of a turn. The big noise surrounding the film is whether it’s real or faked. Those expecting a Blair Witch type movie will feel deceived. However, if you take Catfish as truth, it’s fairly fascinating. Personally, I‘m giving the film the benefit of the doubt. Nothing seems obviously fake. Except Nev’s chest hair. That thing’s hairier than a Scottish lumberjack.
WATCHABLE
The Coen brothers activate their wonder twin powers to remake the John Wayne classic True Grit by reuniting with Jeff Bridges, almighty God of acting for whom we must give our thanks. Additionally, they hired a sizable bag of marbles to shove in his mouth. He seems to spit them out one by one as the movie goes on, but don’t be surprised if you miss some dialog in the beginning. Hailee Steinfeld, along with the rest of the cast, gives an exceptional performance. However, the slow pace dampened numerous scenes that weren’t as exciting than they should have been.
WATCHABLE
The plot in a nutshell: King Henry VI gets speech therapy. Nominated for twelve Oscars, The King’s Speech had a lot to deliver. Given that I’m a self-confessed Geoffrey Rush whore, the film had the upper hand from the get-go. Adding to this, Colin Firth gives a performance so breathtaking it’d make Churchill stammer. Every time those two actors are together on screen, the film is golden. However, when they weren’t, the movie’s interest level dropped significantly for me. Their master-class performances carry most of the film. In fact, screw Tom Hooper! Nominate Firth and Rush for Best Directors, dammit!
WATCHABLE
When a father tells his son “Why bother trying if you always fail?” that child will probably sublimate that future trauma into booze and a D.I.Y. superhero outfit. Probably. I don’t know. My parents’ loved me. But for Brett Reid, he did precisely that: he fabricates The Green Hornet. With the aid of his all-purpose Swiss-army Asian, they swart the town’s criminal underworld while posing as one of them. Biggest problem: Brett Reid is an incompetent jackass; a frustrating character to watch. However, when the comedy hits, it gets the kidney. And when the action fires, it’s a god-damn spectacle.
RECOMMENDED
Stallone assembles an action-star roster of has-beens and still-ares to pay a 100 minute homage to 1980s action films. This is indeed Sex and the City for dudes, with the film being equal to the sum of its faulty parts. The plot has more holes in it than a machine-gunned Columbian. The script would be laughable if it wasn’t so painfully unfunny. But perhaps worst of all, it’s dull. If your movie makes me yawn during an explosion, you messed up. Some hilariously fun over-the-top set pieces prevent this from being a Schwarzenegger-sized shit-fest, but it comes pretty damn close.
