The Three Musketeers

My heart goes out to the three “leads” (I use that term lightly) chosen to play the musketeers in this remake/reboot/whatevs of the reknown classic. Stevenson, Evans and Macfayden are a damn fine trio, deserving of a much better swashbuckling endeavour. Instead, they’re exploited in this stuff-crust cheese of a script, devoid of any memorable action set pieces (aside from one badass scene of cannon-fodding annihilation) before quickly turning into a flying circus Pirates Of The Wannabeans. I also feel sorry for Orlando Bloom, not for his role, but for the months he wasted trying to grow that pig-tusk goatee.

YEAH... NAH...

Green Lantern

Thor and X-men: First Class achieved back-to-back superhero awesomeness (to much surprise), and DC’s own outlandish superhero origin story attempts to add another “-to-back” to this year’s quality comic book film season. Ryan Reynolds dons the ring adequately as cocky flyboy Hal Jordan and every minute on planet Oa is gloriously realised. Too bad we spend the majority of time on generic Earth watching generic relationships accompanied by generic Baywatch music. Still, there’s enough pleasing action scenes to tide most over, including a kick-ass finale. While I may not’ve been amazed by this first entry, I’m dying for a sequel.

WATCHABLE