The Three Musketeers

My heart goes out to the three “leads” (I use that term lightly) chosen to play the musketeers in this remake/reboot/whatevs of the reknown classic. Stevenson, Evans and Macfayden are a damn fine trio, deserving of a much better swashbuckling endeavour. Instead, they’re exploited in this stuff-crust cheese of a script, devoid of any memorable action set pieces (aside from one badass scene of cannon-fodding annihilation) before quickly turning into a flying circus Pirates Of The Wannabeans. I also feel sorry for Orlando Bloom, not for his role, but for the months he wasted trying to grow that pig-tusk goatee.

YEAH... NAH...