The Whistleblower

It’s rare for me to feel genuine disgust towards the subject matter of a film. The Whistleblower provoked this feeling out of me with its extremely well-told story of one woman’s fight to stop human trafficking. Being based on truth, the fact plunges further into my stomach, tempting me to spew out in anger. If my past self asked if he should watch this film, I would deem it a necessity. Thus, I give the film my highest honours in the hope of motivating whoever reads these reviews to seek it out and draw this dehumanising issue into public consciousness.

BETTER THAN INCEPTION!!!

Puss in Boots

With the taste of the fermented crap that was Shrek the Third still on my tender tongue, a spin-off movie was on shaky ground for me. Luckily, they did two things right: 1) they didn’t base it on Donkey and 2) they organically weave a number of nursery rhymes and fairy tales with the origin story of a kickass character. Some jokes fall flat and, in typical Dreamworks fashion, a number of corny dance numbers are integrated with the subtlety of an epileptic rhino. However, as animated action comedy film, it nails the trifecta nicely. Oh, and the 3D’s immaculate. 

RECOMMENDED

Immortals

Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder. But even when you explode that eye in a gloriously tasteful manner, it’ll still be easy for most viewers to recognise the ugliness of a generally bland film. Immortals doesn’t bother to hide its main objective: delivering an optical overload. It achieves this; it’s a visual splendour that delivers the Picasso of violence. But even so, it’s impatient storytelling techniques leave it devoid of personality. It‘s a pretty film to be sure, but it wore off me quickly, like dating a ridiculously attractive girl whose only hobby is collecting different types of potpourri.

YEAH... NAH...

One Day

I was intrigued by the premise of One Day, me being a fan of obscure concepts as well as being a coiled-up romanticist. In some ways, I was satisfied with what I saw. Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess (the other Andrew Garfield) brew a believable amount of chemistry, making their double decade diligence all the more interesting to watch play out. Through every July 15th we witness, we’re often left to assume many details that have occurred over the prior 364 days. Unfortunately, these temporal gaps soften the majority of scenes that go for an emotional (sometimes obvious) sucker punch.

WATCHABLE

Contagion

With more recognizable actors than an entire season of South Park, Contagion’s got one hell of a star-powered fist that’s prepared to punch you in the paranoia nut-sack.  Soderbergh prefers to examine the chaos from an observer’s perspective rather than immerse us in any deep emotional investment. This choice may break the interest of some, but this epidemiological exploration into a global freak-out held a rare fascination within me. Some plot threads could’ve used more tying and I was thrown off by the possibility of Demetri Martin saving the world, but nevertheless, Contagion is a fantastic, titanically told fear-inducer. *cough*

RECOMMENDED

Drive

The pace is bound to throw off the Michael Bay crowd, but Drive tells its straight-forward story through a visual and aural cataclysm of slickness that should be appreciated. Ryan Gosling administers a litre of cool to his glare and a bottle of sedatives to his throat, preferring to chew half his lines into his toothpick rather than use actual words. Most of the time, it plays to the film’s style, but there are the odd moments where it just looks bizarre. However, it’s not as bizarre-looking as Ron Perlman. Seriously, it’s like they spliced Will Ferrell with a gorilla. 

RECOMMENDED

The Thing

Having not seen either John Carpenter’s original version or the original original version of The Thing (sorry everybody, I’ve let y’all down), I was free from the judgemental skew of comparison when seeing this remake-reboot-prequel-but-not-really version. Perhaps that worked to my fortune, for I enjoyed what I saw. The film’s cluttered with irritating plot holes and the CGI oscillates between stellar to spotty, and the overabundance of 1D characters serve as lambs for the slaughter, which’ll either work to your benefit or against it. However, the movie thrills effectively, with one horrific moment that’ll stick with me for a while. 

WATCHABLE